New Year, New Everything

Wow.....it's been two months since my last post! Anyone out there??? Ah well....this poor, neglected space....here's the summary of my last two months:

-Work
-Sleep
-Peter
-Holidays in MN and WI with the family
-Catching up with friends (slowly)
-More work

So there you have it. In any case, I have decided to ring in 2010 with a New Year's meme. The last time I did this was at the very beginning of 2008, and I couldn't help but giggle a little when I copied at pasted it from my Livejournal site. Here is the last one that I did, and WOW, it is amusing how absolutely everything in my life is different. 2009 was INTENSE. There were a lot of experiences, a lot of changes, and there was a lot of work jammed into a very small space. The world at large also seemed somewhat disjointed....there were a lot of strange shifts, a lot of sad moments, and there seemed to be a sort of general malaise. I think the planet just crawled into its sweatpants and ate a gallon of chocolate chip ice cream in front of infomercials for that entire year, while its citizens scrambled to right themselves on their own axes. It all seems a bit surreal now as I look back on it from my current space of comfortable routines and immersion in the familiar. In any case, here's Everything You Wanted to Know about my 2009. Enjoy.

1. What did you do in 2009 that you’d never done before?
Put the finishing touches on a preschool program that I designed myself, recovered from an elephant-related injury, said goodbye to my grandfather over the phone before he passed away, ate chicken feet, visited Halong Bay and Hong Kong and Luang Prabang, moved in with my boyfriend, taught kindergarten, threw an engagement party, learned how to organize my home and work environments, became organized, completed therapy, set achievable goals.

2. Did you keep your new year’s resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
Again, my constant resolution is to floss daily. This still needs work. The resolutions that I wrote down for this year were simply this: Teaching. Writing. Loving. Accepting....and flossing.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
No, surprisingly enough.....

4. Did anyone close to you die?
My grandfather died. My friend Max passed away in the later part of 2008.

5. What countries did you visit?
Thailand (obvs)....but within Thailand I visited Phuket, Chiang Mai, and Ayutthaya. Vietnam (twice), Cambodia (twice...once to visit Siem Reap, and once for a farewell tour of Phnom Penh), Hong Kong, Laos (Luang Prabang), Burma, and China (if you count the airport).

6. What would you like to have in 2010 that you lacked in 2009?
During the first half of 2009 I did not have a solid community of friends, family, and coworkers surrounding me at all times. I am (re)building that slowly now--a process which began in the second half of 2009.

7. What dates from 2009 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?
I can't remember the exact date at the moment, but my grandfather died in February a few days before my 29th birthday. My last day with the preschoolers was June 5th, my last day of work was July 15th, and I returned home from Thailand on July 29th. I moved in with Peter on August 21st, and started my new job on August 24th.

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
I would say that completing my contract in Thailand was an achievement of epic proportions. I don't think I'll ever be able to appropriately express the superhuman effort that took.

9. What was your biggest failure?
Oh my...where to begin?? Part of venturing out and starting something on your own is that you are bound to make mistakes, do stupid stuff, and bang your head against the wall repeatedly while you wonder how it is, exactly, that you are able to tie your own shoes or dress yourself successfully each day. I had many moments where I felt way in over my head, where I was set up for failure, and where professional feedback/criticism turned personal. It comes with the territory...when you don't yet have systems in place to troubleshoot....when you are, in fact, the one putting those systems in place while finding yourself suddenly riddled with self-doubt....when you don't have any support or allies....yeah. There were a lot of difficult moments that felt like tremendous failures.

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
I managed to stay remarkably healthy in 2009. However, I did suffer a bad sprained foot while attempting the Advanced Dismount from the hind end of an elephant. The injury occurred in 2008, but it was still healing in 2009.

11. What was the best thing you bought?
That's tricky! The Buddhas and beautiful carved apsara from Cambodia....the jade and lacquer from Burma....the pearls and aventurine dragon from Hong Kong....the art and silks from Vietnam....the textiles and handmade journals from Laos...the jewelry boxes and clothing and shell necklaces and DVDs and shoes and elephants and wall hangings from Thailand......

12. Whose behavior merited celebration?
My kindergarteners. They are a teacher's dream.

13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?
Ha ha....y'know, I think I'm going to go ahead and stay mum on that one.

14. Where did most of your money go?
Paying off debt (which I finally did!!), shipping gazillions of boxes back from Thailand, and buying winter clothes after two years in a tropical climate.

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
Moving in with Peter. It has really been amazing. I would also have to say my current job. I truly love this school and this grade level!

16. What song will always remind you of 2009?
There are four: Mountain Hare Krishna by Krishna Das (that brought me down from the ledge many times), New Soul by Yael Naim, The Book of Love by Magnetic Fields, and Chasing Pavements by Adele.

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder?
SIGNIFICANTLY happier. This time last year was somewhat traumatic and unsettled. A bunch of CRAZY happened all at once...friendship "break-ups," and friends in Bangkok returning to the U.S., resulting in a lot of solitude...other various clusterf***s (the details of which I can tell you about over drinks sometime, but not here), saying goodbye to Peter for another six month stretch, a logistical slip-up on my end that resulted in all kinds of visa and work permit complications. I know it sounds cheesy (but, if you've been reading this for awhile, you're used to a little cheese), but this time last year tested my strength and built it all at once, and everything since then has been peaceful and joyous. My mental house shifted on its foundation, and now everything is different.
b) thinner or fatter?
Fatter, but that is a good thing. I was rather emaciated for my last six months in Thailand. I think I tipped the scales at about 100 lbs. when I left. Yeesh. Part of it was the diet (spicy food+green tea=weight loss), part of it was work stress (I'm what you might call a "stress non-eater")....none of it was intentional.
c) richer or poorer?
Richer. I am making more money and have way less debt...just some remaining student loans.

18. What do you wish you’d done more of?
In Asia: Travel in Thailand itself. Don't get me wrong, I did a fair amount of travel in Thailand, but I also spent a lot of time visiting countries outside of Thailand. It's hard--when you have limited free/vacation time, and there are so many incredible things to see within your reach, it gets difficult to pick and choose. In the US: Spent more time with friends. I've had a really hard time striking an appropriate work-life balance as I grapple with a new school and a new grade level.

19. What do you wish you’d done less of?
Beating myself up. I was absolutely merciless on myself this year. However, I learned from it, so never again.........

20. How did you spend Christmas?
I went to Minneapolis where I spent time with my family and Peter's family. My nieces are getting so big now, and we had a blast playing with the Wii and coloring. Peter and I escaped to Eagle River, WI over New Year's. There WAS running water, and there WAS NOT any vomiting. Yay.

21. Did you fall in love in 2009?
I would say I definitely fell more deeply in love.

22. What was your favorite TV program?
2009 was definitely a big year for purchasing pirated DVDs from my favorite street vendor, who always gave me a fantastic deal, willingly re-burnt (is that a word??) discs that didn't work properly, and politely flipped down the porn display while I perused the DVD selections. I watched a lot of Six Feet Under, Big Love, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, America's Next Top Model, Ugly Betty, 30 Rock, Brothers and Sisters, The Tudors.....Good Lord, I'm not quite sure how I managed to watch all of those DVDs and still accomplish everything else that I did!

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?
No. Hate consumes too much energy. It's not a feeling that comes naturally to me.

24. What was the best book you read?
I read a lot of books about Buddhism, and about teaching. For the former, I loved Taming the Tiger Within by Thich Nhat Hanh. For the latter, I love Teaching Other People's Children (about teaching Haitian-American students, a group which constitutes the majority of my school's population) by Cynthia Ballenger.

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Krishna Das.

26. What did you want and get?
A wonderful new job.

27. What did you want and not get?
My MA teaching license. I'm working on it now, but it has been a series of insane and fiery hoops to jump through!

28. What was your favorite film of this year?
This movie came out in 2008, but I didn't see it until 2009: Slumdog Millionaire.

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
I was grieving the loss of my grandfather. I took myself shopping, and treated myself to chocolate from my favorite chocolate shop. I turned 29. That already feels like a lifetime ago!

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Again, that's something that we can talk about over drinks sometime.

31. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2009?
All of my clothes became way too big for me, so I would say "baggy." I was also really into the big jewelry, silver bracelets, oversized purses, ballet flats, stretchy headbands, cute dresses (usually handmade!), tank tops with spaghetti straps, and t-shirts with fun slogans on them. I also started wearing heels more often, especially with skinny jeans. A lot of those heels have ended up in my closet, but I think it's high time I resurrect some of the Bangkok fashion sense. Currently I would say that my 2010 fashion concept is boring. I look the part of a kindergarten teacher. That simply cannot do......

32. What kept you sane?
Peter, Peter, Peter. Peter. And Peter some more. Also, writing.

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
This is my response from 2007, and it remains the same: Angelina Jolie. She is the most beautiful human being on the planet (in my humble opinion).

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
I got really fired up about the corrupt and evil military government in Burma this year. I did a lot of reading and research, and it's a cause I will continue to support forever.

35. Who did you miss?
This is also my response from 2007:EVERYONE EVERYONE EVERYONE. The list is long when you are far away. In 2009 I especially missed my Phoenix friends after Max's death.

36. Who was the best new person you met?
All of my new coworkers! I am part of a phenomenal community of educators. Also, J., Andrew's boyfriend. I heart him.

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2009.
There are a few: 1.) You can't spend your valuable time and energy worrying what other people think of you. Once you make that decision, life becomes much more enjoyable.
2.) Meditation is necessary for my health and happiness. 3.) Being a teacher is truly intellectual, Truly Honorable work, and it doesn't matter if others don't feel that way. 4.) It is pointless to carry around anger. 5.) It is pointless to worry about things that you can't control. Or, for that matter, things that you can control. It is just plain pointless to worry. 6.) Life happens in the present moment. Stay present, and connect with your breath when you find yourself out of the present moment. 7.) Always stay calm. No matter what. There is no situation ever that either warrants hasty words and/or actions, or benefits from them. 8.) Kindergarten is heaven (well, once you get past the first few weeks).

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year.
Don't Worry, Be Happy.