Change

I apologize for my absence! Things have been super busy and chaotic, both internally and externally, but MAN is that a bright light at the end of this tunnel!!

Anyway........

Educating oneself about the various issues in the world can be both a blessing and a curse. In the blessing column, by learning about the pain and suffering that people throughout the world must endure because of Things That Are Just Plain F***ed Up, one becomes a global citizen, and is inspired to act with relentless fortitude. In the curse column, one can easily become overwhelmed with the enormity of it all, and question whether or not creating change is even POSSIBLE.

So I guess I have some big questions hanging over my head as I begin to slowly figure out (though I still have plenty of time!) what my next step should be, career-wise. What is the best way for me to take action? To create change? To live up to the potential that is within me?

Well, recently I've been thinking about what having an IMPACT really means. What CHANGE really means. And while there are some amazing leaders out there who have to capacity to effect change on a monumental scale, certainly not everyone can walk that path. So how do I play MY role in making a difference? In creating change?

There are two main events this summer that have really shaped my thinking about creating change and having an impact:
1.) Someone in the educational policy field (who, like most educational policy people, has never taught in a traditional school setting) ifnormed me that teachers "don't have enough of an impact." That teachers "impact a classroom, and maybe a school," but that the sphere of influence that one has as a teacher is just not big enough to really mean anything. The only way to REALLY create lasting change is through policy.

2.) Kalpna's death.

Kalpna was a person who, as I mentioned before, had a tremendous impact on our graduate school community, the community of the school where she taught, the lives of her students, and the lives of countless people who were lucky enough to know this extraordinary person. The depth of her impact will radiate on forever through countless hearts. I've been reading her memorial Facebook page, and her students' comments, and the comments of everyone who knew her, and this woman's all-too-short life had TREMENDOUS meaning. She effected all kinds of positive change, and she did so in small ways--by taking things one step at a time, one student at a time, one event at a time.

I see here after briefly skimming what I've written that I am using the words CHANGE, IMPACT, and MEANING interchangeably. And yes, one could argue that they are very different things, but maybe not.........

I don't have all (or even some?) of the answers by any means. However, so far, I have come to these conclusions:

1.) I agree with Gandhi. True change has to occur first within oneself. In order for ME to create change, I need to continue making my inner shifts. Letting go of anger, letting go of fear, figuring out how to structure my life so that I can be a more efficient, more focused, more able-to-multitask me. And, well, excuse me while I wax all hippie on you, but we are all connected as human beings. If one person evolves and grows, those around that person will also evolve and grow.

2.) Change happens in small steps. That boy with the starfish has the right idea. Sure, I could create some fabulous educational policies and change the world forever, but I would have to spend the majority of my life battling bureaucracies and being a cog in a system, and I don't think I'm satisfied with waiting 20 years to have an impact. Don't get me wrong: I think the people involved in policy are doing the best that they can to effect change, and I applaud their efforts. However, to say that teachers don't have enough of an impact is, in my opinion, a blatantly misinformed statement.

3.) Change is NOT something that we can do as individuals. Sure, we may have superhero fantasies of saving the world all on our own (and, um, by "we," I mean "me"), and not having to share the glory with anyone else, and to have our red capes put in a special place of honor for all eternity. BUT....that view of change is motivated by all the wrong things. Change takes collaboration, partnerships, and allies.

SO.....I'm going to start my process of world domination (HA! Only kidding. Sort of) today by teaching myself to stress way less, by not holding onto anger, by resuming my usual daily exercise schedule (which has been on hiatus for a MONTH! And boy, does exercise make a HUGE difference), and by learning to live a more regimented life (e.g. making my schedule throughout the day and week much more structured). These are changes that will allow me to, as Gandhi says, "[b]e the change [I] want to see in the world." Figuring out how to solve the complex problem of illiteracy on a global scale will come later.

What small changes are YOU going to make???