Alrighty...in spite of the title, let it be known that I'm staying positive, and I am just accepting things as they come. Sadly, my Thanksgiving plans (which consisted of going to a pub with an amazing Thanksgiving buffet all by myself and trying not to feel sad and pathetic) have been quashed thanks to an alleged curfew, which is due to a possible military coup that is expected to happen tonight. The airports here have been closed for two days as a grand gesture of protest, and there's a simultaneously quiet and frantic energy in the air tonight. I have opted for the delivery of my Thanksgiving feast, which I will eat on my bed while watching old episodes of Six Feet Under.
Peter lost both of his parents in June, making this the first Thanksgiving that he would spend without them. Or without any family at all. Never one to throw himself a pity party, he instead hopped on a plane bound for the Bahamas in order to enjoy a few days of contemplative relaxation. We spoke briefly yesterday after he arrived, and he said that it was a ghost town down there. Due to the economic downturn, people are not traveling to exotic destinations to celebrate the holiday. The thought of him sitting on a deserted beach all by himself makes me cry.
So we're both spending this Thanksgiving alone with our thoughts, without friends or family or acquaintances or fancy silverware or football. And mark my words: This will be the last Thanksgiving that I will ever voluntarily spend away from Peter. My partner in crime, the other half of my heart, the love of my life will never ever have to sit on the beach alone, without a belly full of turkey, without me by his side.
So many changes, all in just one year.
I hope that the political drama that is about to unfold, which will happen when I am nestled in my bed after gorging myself on my Thanksgiving Feast for One, is bloodless and painless. But I guess that is wishing for the impossible.
There is precious little in this world that we can control. Really, truly control. We can control our actions and our love and our words. We can control our perspectives and our nourishment and the ways in which we nourish others.
Happy Thanksgiving to everyone in the U.S. Savor the peace, savor your loved ones, savor this loving and lovely tradition.
And Happy Thanksgiving to my baby. A year from now, this will be but a pinprick in the vast constellation of our wonderful life.
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What a lovely little oasis of an idea in the middle of your post, like the last biscuit under a flap of cloth that everyone somehow missed, about what we can control.
At first I accepted without question when you said they were "precious little" things. But then I reread and decided that perspectives and love are actually the huge things, that actions and words can have great power. And then I realized the thing I'm most grateful for are all the choices I have yet to make. And everything I do for those I love is so they can make theirs.
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