Perhaps the most interesting excuse I've ever heard....

D.'s mom (D., by the way, being the YUMMIEST child in the entire universe--save for OlderNiece L. and YoungerNiece C.--and I very often have to remind myself that it would be highly unprofessional to try and eat him like the sweet little cupcake that he is) when she came to pick him up yesterday:

Miss Brooke! I'm so sorry I'm late! I have diarrhea!!

I think she took the words right out of Sarah Silverman's mouth.

When I taught in the U.S. I heard a lot of excuses for parental lateness (just got out of jail....long line at the welfare office....fell asleep by accident after working three different jobs in order to try to put food on the table), and some of them were downright heartbreaking. This was a first for the diarrhea, and dare I say it was slightly, you know, refreshing.