Something....

Something that is embarrassing:

When you are hobbling from your physical therapy session to the ATM and digging in your wallet for your ATM card, and therefore not paying any attention whatsoever, and you collide with the chest-high planter of fake orchids, which topples to the floor with an absolutely deafening porcelain smack against the marble and you, able to only balance effectively on one foot, end up toppling right on top of it, straddling it in order to keep from rolling under it and you end up appearing as though you are perhaps sexually violating the oh so voluptuous planter of fake orchids. You consider asphyxiating yourself with a fake orchid in order to escape the embarrassment of it all.

Something that is awesome:

Thai grocery stores have a section devoted entirely to monk offerings. Such offerings may include towels, toothbrushes, toothpaste, bandages, incense, candles, and other basic necessities. Sometimes you can buy prepackaged compilations that are wrapped up beautifully in fake gold.